Sunday, December 11, 2022

Don't wanna live in fear and loathing, I wanna feel like I am floating

I've been looking back through some old blogs I used to write, and I miss it. I'm not sure why I everstopped blogging really, I know it's not a popular platform anymore but that's never bothered me. In fact I'd consider the highlight of my blogging to be 2019-2020, long after it had already been proclaimed a 'dead' hobby. I guess it was during the pandemic that I started to have difficulties with it, I was living on my own in Japan and got too far inside my own head and developed this fear of being perceived. I don't know how to describe it other than that, but I was really struggling emotionally whilst trying to keep up the façade online and it really damaged my relationship with social media. I ended up shutting myself off from the community I'd built, and it felt difficult to navigate as people had one idea of me based on things I'd posted while the reality had been something different. Suddenly everything felt too raw, too personal, and I hated anything I shared. So I deleted everything, or made it private. And now I'm back, hoping to rebuild this hobby that once meant so much to me. Even if no one's reading anymore quite honestly I just like having my own little space of the Internet, but I hope if you are reading you might stick around for a while so we can become friends.

I'm a little tempted to import the blog posts from so long ago as they do mean so much to me, but I'm undecided just yet. I feel like I need a blank slate in order to start, or I get a feeling akin to stage fright as those old entries set the precedent. I need to find my voice first, but don't be surprised if you're reading this in the future and there ends up being posts before it.

Anyway. My name is Sadie and I'm an illustrator. I'm from the UK, but I currently live in South Korea. I like musical theatre, vintage stuff, music, movies, autumn, folk tales, thrift stores, and Disney. I want to post about all of these things, and more besides. Somewhere informal where I can share snapshots I've taken, quotes I love, art that inspires me, songs that won't get out of my head, pieces of my journal. Somewhere I can just be me.

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